Rachel Smithsbone 2 - Episode
Mon, Oct 21, 2024 5:01PM • 35:00
SUMMARY KEYWORDS
money mindset, self-sabotage, authenticity, power and authenticity, reclaiming parts, personal brand, truth and courage, financial freedom, money beliefs, stepping stone beliefs, human design, energy alignment, tripwire strategy, customer value, money spirit
SPEAKERS
Hannah
Hannah 00:00
Welcome to happily ever after, the podcast where we dive into life's big stories, everything from breakups and breakdowns to Buried Secrets and triumphant happy endings. It's the stuff that makes us human. I'm your host. Hannah Harvey, author of How to divorce, sober. I'm a mentor, award winning blogger, yoga instructor, and in a past life, a fully qualified civil engineer. You can find me at Hannah harvey.uk or on Instagram at Hannah Harvey UK. I absolutely love to hear from you, so please get in touch with your stories, thoughts or questions, but for now, get cozy, settle in, and let's dive into your next chapter of happily ever after. Hello and welcome to happily ever after. It's me, Hannah, and today I'm joined by Rachael again, and we're going to talk about money, money,
01:00
I'm excited. I love talking about money.
Hannah 01:07
You just had a second of being like sitting in a bath full of $50 bills. Oh,
01:16
yes, please.
Hannah 01:17
Nice. So yeah, the working title for this is cock blocking your money, but it feels a bit like I don't even know violet.
01:31
What made you come up with that title?
Hannah 01:33
I have been working with over the summer, I was doing an online course with somebody called Cat rivers, called, what's it called? Again, AOA, something of alchemy. Can't remember the actual name. I'll have to put it in the show notes. But she talks about this kind of, yeah, getting in the way, basically, of your stuff. So cop blocking your money, your dreams, your all that kind of stuff. So that's probably where it came from,
02:06
nice, because it is,
Hannah 02:11
I think what we were covering last time is there is a lot of self sabotage that goes on, and some of it is completely unconscious.
02:20
Yeah, yeah, 100% agree with that.
Hannah 02:24
So we talked about the whole idea of having compassion for yourself and physically being able to go within in ceremony to discuss life with a bit of me that I didn't fully appreciate was part of me and had its own needs, was very helpful for understanding compassion and how to be kinder. And then the other part we talked about was being able to show up as yourself, because we learn, over time from childhood that certain bits of us are not acceptable, whether they are or not. That's the kind of narrative we start to tell ourselves. Yeah. So I guess what I would like to cover in this one is, how do we get in the way of us in business and in making money, and is there anything that we can kind of do to get out of the way of these things?
03:31
So juicy, so so juicy. I do. You know what I love? I love how in our last session, in our last chat, we were talking about authenticity and reclaiming and re centering parts of ourselves that are kind of like, almost like, put in the shadows and in terms of making money. I think one of the things that I find really it's quite a little bit tenuously linked to making money really, because really, it's about power and authenticity and like living the life path that is truly ours. But in the course of my work, one of the things I've really noticed that so often, you know, the work we've done together mirrors that so often, the parts of people that are almost like locked in a basement and deemed unworthy are actually the parts when we fully embody them that are gonna make us the most fucking Money. Yes, they are the ones, the parts that we that we've either learned are the most undesirable or decided are the most undesirable, the parts that we shame so often. That's actually where our power is. That's where our differentiation is. That's where our uniqueness is. So for me, like, one of the things about making money, and it's, it's the same with visibility, is doing exactly what you've done and what I've done as well. It's like going into those parts of ourselves that are, I like, in my mind, they're always locked in the basement. They're kind of like pushed down so no one can see them, but allowing those parts to come fully to the fore and be fully embodied. Because I think, yeah, there's so much power in that, and there's so much magnetism in that, you know, people can smell and feel that authenticity and that uniqueness is what sets us apart. So I do think, actually, I think it, I think like people like us, who are on a path where, you know, almost like we're selling our view on the right world. We're selling our skills, but our skills come through a lens of our personal experience and our personal kind of relationship with reality and relationship with the world and our personal brand. It's so important, if you have that kind of business, to let people see the real you. Because we're all looking for authenticity. We're all looking in a world where no one knows what's true anymore. We're all instinctively looking to connect with truth on some level. So if you can lead and be somebody that has the courage to show up as all of who they are, it's like I just think it's so magnetic. It's so attractive and and it's what sets you apart in the marketplace. It's what like from a money making point of view. It's what tells people, Oh, my God, I have to work with Hannah. I have to go to Hannah's ceremonies. You know, I felt like there was another point I was going to make in there,
Hannah 06:59
just quickly on that, because we did a whole session around truth, because, and if you recall, but I was having a real issue with finishing my book, because I was afraid to tell the truth, and it was all in my jaw. It was like my jaw was being wired and locked shut, and I just felt like, well, it took me back to a memory which I'd completely forgotten about. Where I was 11, I just moved to a new school, so I went from the school where I was bullied to a new school. And I was like, No way that's happening again. I'm gonna do whatever it takes to fit in. And then in the I made friends with some people, and then got introduced to, like, a really popular, hard girl, and I messed it up. I said the wrong thing to her, and for the rest of my time at that school, she would send messages to me in my class that she was going to beat me up after school. Oh, my God. And it was like, Oh, that was the day that I learn if I be myself and I'm because I was just messing around. I was trying to be funny to get her to like me, and I just said the wrong thing, and she took offense. I was like, right? I need to clamp that jaw shut, because it's gonna get me in trouble. I'm physically, you know, in I've been threatened physically for speaking and being a bit dorky and being myself,
08:27
that like links back to reclaiming that silliness and that child, like innocent part of yourself doesn't it exactly got you in trouble. She let you, literally put you in physical danger and ostracized from the group again. So it's like, no, that part is definitely not safe. It's definitely not okay,
Hannah 08:48
yeah, and I guess, and you know, as a grown up, there's a real strong chance that something in my book is going to upset somebody. And being like, feeling brave enough and strong enough to go, but I'm gonna do it anyway. I mean, it's out there now, babes, but like, No,
09:12
I can't wait to have a read of it. I really can't. And I think, yeah, I remember that session and, and it's a hard walk line to walk, isn't it? Because at the end of the day, there are potential, real world repercussions, and you are doing the work of being courageous and speaking honestly, and it's like navigating that, isn't it. But
Hannah 09:36
the big difference now between then is my experience with then, was that I can't be myself, and now I can't speak because I do the wrong thing, whereas now I've had that Condit, you know, we've been working on the reconditioning that side of myself where I have to show compassion, and I know that I'm able. To do that, I'm able to be myself, I'm able to show myself compassion, and I can speak the truth, because I've got a support network within myself and my friendship groups that will help me through it. So
10:13
good. And that's freedom, right? Like we've both got a shared love of freedom, and that is freedom, being able to speak what is true for you, and really knowing that whatever repercussions there are, you're going to be fine. You've got the support you need, but allowing yourself to actually go to those edges and speak from that place of truth, because
Hannah 10:42
unless you speak the truth, you can't really help anybody, including yourself.
10:46
No, that's it. And I think especially in so in terms of like making money and cock blocking money, trying to stay safe, trying to stay palatable, trying to not offend anyone, massive cop block, massive, massive cock block.
Hannah 11:05
Yeah, and do you know what else really helped when we were talking about money? Was reframing it, because I was like, I need money, but it felt like I was being greedy, whereas you were like, can you look at it from a place of, if I make my own money, I will be free.
11:27
I'm so clever.
Hannah 11:29
You were so clever.
11:33
I'm so modest, yeah,
Hannah 11:35
but it was tapping into that whole thing of independence and like, we massively value our freedom, so therefore I need to stop getting in my own way so that I can make some money.
11:48
And I genuinely, I like I don't know if you know this, but I teach a course on money called Money magic. And in that, it's a real heavy ceremonial based course. And in that, the very first session, we do a ceremony calling in the spirit of money and lovely. What I want to help people understand is like the spirit of if you are somebody that works in a shamanic way, if you're not, it's probably not the cause for you. But if you are understanding that money is this beautiful, maligned spirit who wants to be in your life. Who wants to dance with you? Channel through you. Bring you beautiful things, bring you experiences, bring you freedom, like when you start, when you reposition your connection with money, like that. Oh, it just it becomes so beautiful. It becomes Yeah, it becomes really beautiful. It totally changes the way you look at it. So, you know, money wants to come to you. She wants to bring you freedom. She doesn't just want to be in the hands of people who are hoarding her and keeping her locked up and a strangle hold on her like she wants to move. And I think people, what you've hit on there is just so important, especially in the spiritual communities, we have such a negative attitude towards money, and that is a massive cock block, like when we're seeing the spirit of money as this awful, polluting, evil thing that just brings bad into the world. Why, as people that are here to do good and bring light. Why would we want to bring that into our lives? So so many people, right in the spiritual community are dead broke, but they're not able to live these beautiful lives that they could live because they're rejecting the idea of money, or they're like, putting some kind of spin on it that is like you in your wonderful language that's cock blocking it basically,
Hannah 13:44
yeah, it's like, I want you, but I, I can't, I don't want you. You're
13:49
dirty and you're you are the root of all evil. And if I, I think, think it was me, and you talking about it, because I remember, like, I've done so much money work over the years, and I realized I really needed to do it. Probably when I was about four years into my business, I was doing my taxes, and I just, I remember this so vividly. I sat at my desk doing my taxes, and I had this one lady who'd kind of like, bought, you know, you get clients that just love everything you do. And they buy everything, yeah, and she bought, I love those too. And her name kept popping up. But instead of feeling like, oh man, she's got so much value, she's loved this. It's been wonderful working with her. My thought because of my effed up money beliefs, my thought was, oh my God, look how much of her money I've taken look how much like she's I've taken so much of her money, and I just felt this, like somatically, this crushing guilt of when my shoulders collapsing in and wanting to kind of, oh, retract into myself. And it was, I remember it viscerally, and it's like you. That's when I realized, wow, I really need to do some work on this money stuff that is not a healthy attitude, like something in there is, is really unhelpful way of why I think so many it's just such beautiful and important work to do, actually, the money work,
Hannah 15:19
it's so fascinating because it's just we're brought up with so many different thoughts around it, yeah, like generally in movies, it's the skint underdog that we we root for, yeah,
15:41
and the rich people do the bad stuff.
Hannah 15:44
Yeah, the rich people are the buddies, especially rich women, they are bitches.
15:50
Oh, they are the worst Cruella de Vale man.
Hannah 15:54
So it's like, where's the role models of people that are making decent money and also really decent people
16:02
and doing really because there are, that's the thing. There are. There are people who are really rich who are doing terrible things, and there are people who are really rich who are doing amazing things, and there are poor people who are shit bags, and there are poor people who are amazing like, it's not money isn't doesn't have any in and of itself. It doesn't have any moral stance or significance. It's just it, yeah, it's that's why I like to think of it as a spirit. I like to think of it as this beautiful Spirit in our lives that we get to interact with in a much more positive, generative life giving way. And I really do think, I think it's vital that people who are in the healing and spiritual world actually make more money. I genuinely do. I think it's vital because we do need to redistribute where money goes and when you make more money you can, you know, you can spend it with intention and mindfulness, and you can spend it with such love, passing that love onto people. And, yeah, I just think, I think it's got the potential to be beautiful. But like you say, we get so many mixed messages, and it's always like, I don't know about you growing up, but I had, I was always brought up to believe that it was so hard to make money. You know you're going to work sacrificing. You have to work your ass off. You sacrifice time with your family. You're generally not doing anything you enjoy and like, why would I do that? That's not it's against everything that I stand for and everything that I've literally lived in my life. So, yeah, it's another interesting one to reprogram and look at that. I think there's just so many layers to abundance so much.
Hannah 17:52
My new book How to divorce sober is out now. It's basically everything I needed to get through addiction and divorce in one place with fairy tale symbolism and tons of practical advice, you'll learn how to be free, build a strong support system and embrace a positive future. You can grab how to divorce over on Amazon today, it's available in print, ebook and audiobook, narrated by yours truly. So if you were going to reprogram like, I guess, the whole idea of, I need to work my ass off to make money. What, what kind of thing would you do?
18:37
First of all I do is I would, oh, let me just think what I would do first of all, first so the first step is to think, is this actually helpful? Is this how I want to live my life? Is this how I've like given that we live in an infinite universe, given that crazy stuff happens all of the time, is this a belief that's actually serving me? Yes or no, no. Okay, then is it fundamentally objectively true? Is it objectively true that you can only have money if you work really, really hard? And then I'd be like, I'd look around and I'd look at people who have trust funds and people who've inherited money and people who are doing they followed their passion of things they love to such a degree that they've, you know, developed mastery, and over time, they've received a lot of money for it. And I'd be like, okay, objectively speaking, this isn't truth. It's not true that that is categorically the only way to have money. There are millions of examples of people out there who have money that are not busting a gut or working hard. So it is possible. If it's possible, that's when I start then thinking to myself, if it's possible, it's possible for me, and I'm a real believer that i. Our thoughts and our beliefs create our reality so and and I kind of look at it from two perspectives. So I don't just look at it from a metaphysical, mystical perspective. I also look at it from a really pragmatic perspective, because your brain gets so much information literally every second. It's like, I think, I think it's something crazy, like, I don't know, I can't remember the stats, but it's like in in the 10s of 1000s of pieces of information every single second. So your brain's always like streamlining how it makes sense of the world. And one of the ways it does that is it takes what it already knows and it applies that filter to everything so it doesn't have to keep reassessing everything. So in a really pragmatic sense, if you have a filter or a belief in your mind that says, I have to work really hard to earn money, what your brain then does is reaffirms that belief again and again and again and again. So you will it's like there'll be a confirmation bias. So your brain goes, it goes into the world, and it's like, oh, look, that person's working really hard. I've confirmed that belief. Oh, look, that person's working really hard, I've confirmed that belief. And it's like, it becomes a self perpetuating thing. So, yeah, that's what I do. I kind of, that's how I approach that. I like, do I need it? Is it true? Looking for evidence that it's not, and then I start to, like, loosen one of the things I teach in my course, money magic is what I call stepping stone beliefs. Because if you've spent your entire life believing one thing, it's hard to make money. For most people rewiring the neural pathways to be like, maybe it's easy to make money, or it gets to be easy. Money flows to me. Say, you want to rewire it to something like, abundance is my natural state. Money flows to me something like that. For most people, the jump cognitively and literally, in terms of new neural synapses and pathways, the jump is too big. So I get people to create what I call a stepping stone belief. So it's like, instead of going straight to it's easy for me to make money, there's a disruptor in the center that says, maybe it's easy for me to make money. Yeah, maybe I could try this. So it's like not having to assert it fully, but it's kind of it's disrupting the pattern that's existing. So in a really pragmatic and practical sense, that's really helpful way of looking at it. And then I just play with that. I'm like, Oh, actually, it has. There have been times where it's been really easy for money to come to me. They really have and, yeah, so that's how I do it. That's how literally I do it
Hannah 22:56
to like, looking for the evidence of when it has been easy, and then working on, well, maybe, maybe this, maybe I'll try this, and then it's those little steps, rather than full blown, right, I am now going to make a shit ton of money, because I've told myself I can.
23:16
And some people that works for some people can do that. Some people can be like, right? I can make a shit ton of money, and they can just completely change a belief in an instant. But for myself and for most of the people I've worked with, it's too much of a leap, but, yeah, it's just too much. But the looking at the evidence, it's almost like, oh, that's what I was gonna say. So it's almost like every time, if I like to think of it literally, like rewiring. So like every time my brain defaults to it's hard to make money, I catch it, and I'm like, No, that's, I don't believe that anymore. That's not true anymore. It might it doesn't have to be hard to make money. So like that again, that's a stepping stone. It's like, doesn't have to be that way. So it's almost like, you catch it, you catch that thought, you catch that belief as it's coming up. And you're like, not I'm not available for this anymore, like in my mind, I kind of think I'm turning away from it. I'm like, No, which I think is also quite helpful, like turning away from it and being like, and I don't know if people are going to see the video, but I've got my hand up and I've got a sassy little head going to the side of like, no, not available for thinking like this anymore. That is done. I
Hannah 24:43
love that feels like edge. So if you have like, two rivers, for example, and one is like, it's hard to make money, and the other one is it's actually easy, it feels like you're on like a little bridge between the two, and you're moving closer and closer to being this. Stream of the money, rather than always that mentality of, oh, it's really hard, like you're trying to go upstream instead of coming down.
25:09
Yes, yeah, exactly, exactly,
Hannah 25:14
they're both possible. Yeah, yeah, they
25:17
are that. Like, that's the thing. They are both possible and and I'm realistic, right? When I'm making money, it's not always going to be rainbows and unicorns, like it's I have, you know, like everyone, we have to knuckle down and do things. But the difference is, it doesn't have to be punitive and suffering. Yeah, you know, it can be like, I've been working my butt off on something the last few days, and every time I get up from my desk, from having done a little sprint of work, I'm like, Oh, that feels so good, because it's in alignment, because it's something I really want to do, and I don't know how it's going to make me money, but I have a feeling it is on that path towards making me more money. You know, it's taking me in that direction, even though it doesn't necessarily make sense right now in the moment and logically
Hannah 26:14
following the urge and the nudge and see what happens.
26:18
This is something I'm thinking about a lot in terms of my own business and running my business at the moment, from that place of magic as well as that place of pragmatism, and it's like following the energy. So like I said, I've got this. I've had this with both generators, right? So we respond. So I respond, this is human
Hannah 26:38
design for anybody who's Yes, what Rachael is talking about. You can look up your human design and it tells you, but Rachael and I are both generators,
26:48
and I would highly recommend looking up your human design. It's really fascinating. I'm
Hannah 26:53
obsessed right now with
26:57
someone talking about it. Have you got anyone on yet? I haven't
Hannah 27:00
looked it up yet, but maybe just you and me will come back and do it. Absolutely love it.
27:09
So like with as a generator, as a human design generator, we are designed to respond to things, and I'm playing around with running my business from this space of live, like, where the energy is taking me. So from a very practical I get, I keep saying this, but from a practical point of view, what have I got energy for? What do I feel motivated to do? What do I want to do instead of kind of judging, like, Oh well that because this thing, it's a mini workshop. It's like, it's not expensive, it's just a 20 minute yoga practice that hits every muscle group that you can just learn and just do every day. So it'll keep you nice and strong, nice and flexible in 20 minutes, dead easy. I love it. It's not. It doesn't necessarily make sense with my business, but there's this massive pull to do it. And I think again, for magical people, it can be we can get really stuck, because we want to be really strategic in how we do things, instead of listening to that authority and listening to where our energy is actually taking us, and almost like trusting that that's gonna taste where we need to go, like Steve Jobs says, doesn't he join the dots backwards? You can't necessarily join them looking forwards, you can only see the path when you look backwards. Yeah,
Hannah 28:35
yeah. I'm definitely trying to lean more into that, slowing down and seeing what feels right, because a lot of the time, I think if you know when you're doing this, because you're going, I should be doing this.
28:49
Yes, the cursed shoulds, and
Hannah 28:51
it's not necessarily true. And the more we're doing stuff that we inadvertent commerce should do, the more we're burning ourselves out, because we're not in flow, we're not in alignment.
29:04
Things don't happen as easily. Yeah?
Hannah 29:06
And actually, you'll know from doing your project right now is you're getting energy from doing it, yeah? And you get that feeling of success at the end of the day, yeah,
29:19
yeah. That's exactly it. It's exciting and it's fun. And that's where going back, like, obviously this conversation about money, that's how we got onto this is, like, that's where making money gets to be easy,
Hannah 29:34
yeah. And also, what you're doing there is you're making lots of different price point things. That is then can be sitting away in the background making you money.
29:44
Yeah. And so if, in the back of my mind, I don't know if this is interesting for your readers, a little bit of strategy here, but I love this stuff, but in the back of my mind, if I've tested the idea, so I've put something. Out there saying I'm thinking about running this thing. Is anyone up for it? And I got lots of people say yes, which, for my audience, is really unusual. So it tells me that it's definitely is a good idea, yeah. So I've got started on it, and with that idea, in the fullness of time, I'm looking at it as potentially something I could sell via ads, to bring people into my audience, to add a really reasonable price point for them to get to know me, them to actually like it's it's called, it's about building email list of buyers, rather than people who've come in through a free funnel. So it's a really interesting strategy. There's a group that I follow that have kind of pioneered this, and they do it in terms of mini workshops. So I've learnt it from them. I can tell you the name of the myth in the show notes, if you want. Yeah, yeah. It's really it's a really interesting strategy, and I've not had a workshop yet that people have been interested in. So it's going to be really interesting to see where it goes.
Hannah 31:03
Just, yeah, trying different things in different ways in because, you know, if somebody's bought something from you for a fiver, they are much more likely to buy some ink for 50 or 100 because they've already, they're already in a space of I buy things from this person, yeah,
31:21
there's something called a tripwire, which is, like, it's exactly that. It's, there's a, there's some psychological thing of, if somebody's bought one thing for you, even if it cost $1 they're like, way more likely to become a repeat customer. So there's a real, it's really, is a really interesting way of building an audience of people who have already bought from you, because then they're more likely to buy again. And like these people that I work with, I'm a prime example. I bought something from them in 2021 and I've been working with them ever since, you know, I've loved working with them, and I think that probably like relates, because it might be, I don't know how your audience feel about hearing the kind of the strategy behind some of the business ideas, but like, that's from a customer perspective. You could say, oh, well, I I came in on a tripwire thing. I became an active buyer, and then they're still inverted commas, milking me four years later, three years later. But actually, from a client perspective, I love working with them. I love it when they're selling a new thing. I love it when they've got something out. I'm like, Oh, brilliant. I can't wait to hand over my money. So actually, like from a mindset perspective, a money mindset perspective, we feel like we're taking people's money, but actually, I love paying people. I love paying people with brilliant ideas and brilliant approaches and brilliant energy. I love giving them my money. So that's another shift. Like, if you're in business and you are like Rachel circa whatever it was, 20 2018 doing your taxes, seeing people pay you start shifting that mindset from I'm taking people's money to people love to pay me. People love to pay me. Like that money if you if you can get that thought ingrained in your brain that people love to pay you, that is a money making thought, my friends, it is a and it's a win, win, because you are then calling in the people that love to pay you, and they do like I, you know, as a customer, I love paying Certain people, and it feels good to me, so
Hannah 33:42
because of the value you get back, yeah, exactly the thing that you can go into, like, God, that person's had so much great magic off me. They are so lucky,
33:55
yeah?
Hannah 33:58
Oh, that has been absolutely amazing. Thank you so much, Rachel, it's
34:02
my pleasure. I think I could actually talk about money all day long.
Hannah 34:07
Good. Let's talk about it in our next posting coaching session.
34:11
Yes, my
Hannah 34:14
mom, brilliant. Thank you so much, babe. My
34:17
pleasure. Bye.
Hannah 34:22
Thank you so much for spending your time with me today. All the details you need are in the show notes, so be sure to check those out. If you're enjoying the podcast, please do hit the subscribe button and leave a review. It really helps more people find the show. And if you know someone who loved these stories, feel free to share it with them too. As you know, I love hearing from you, so please do reach out on Instagram at Hana Harvey UK, or through my website, hanahavi.uk you.
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