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Hannah: Welcome to Happily Ever After the podcast where we talk about life's big stories from break-ups and breakdowns to icky secrets and happy endings. It's the stuff that makes us human. I'm your host, Hannah Harvey. I'm a writer and a parenting blogger at Mumsdays.com. That's M.U.M.S.D.A.Y.S dot com. I'd be really grateful if you could subscribe and leave a review because it basically means more people can find the podcast. And I also really love hearing from you, so please do contact me through Instagram @Mumsdays when any of your stories really and you know how you relate to the episode or even questions that you may want answering. You can find all the details from this episode in the show notes.
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Hannah: Hello and welcome to Happily Ever After with me, Hannah. Today I'm joined with my podcast regular Chum-chum.
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Katie: Hello everybody, it's me, the Chum-chum.
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Hannah: It's Katie. Oh, Katie, I've had some lovely compliments this week from people.
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Katie: That's nice. About what?
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Hannah: Just us chatting about shit.
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Katie: Oh, really?
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Hannah: Yeah. They've been like, Oh, you popped up on my thing. So I had a listen, and it's just really nice hearing that you're both having a shit time too, because I was.
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Katie: Yeah. We are having a shit time aren't we.
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Hannah: Oh, it's kind of fun. I was just having a shower, and I was just thinking. I will look back on this summer and be like, This was really fun.
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Katie: Yeah, we are having fun.
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Hannah: I'm definitely having fun. Like, I'm absolutely loving walking around everywhere there's sunshine getting in the sea. I'm making everybody come here to see me.
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Katie: Yeah, that's good.
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Hannah: Like, come to the beach. We'll get in the sea.
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Katie: We live in the best place.
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Hannah: Nobody gets in the sea with me.
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Katie: I get in the sea with you sometimes.
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Hannah: You do. You do. That's not true. I mean, loads of people get in the sea with me. But I mean, the ones that I'm going. Come over. We'll get in the sea. They're like. They come and then they go, Yeah, I'm not. I'm not actually going to get in the sea.
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Katie: That's kind of fair enough though. It is weird.
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Hannah: But I'm like, I've got my towel.
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Hannah: Why are we not getting in the sea? Okay, fine.
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Katie: I've brought trunks for you.
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Hannah: I'll go in my bra and knickers. You can have my swimming costume. Um, but no, I'm having a lovely time, but it does feel a bit wild and sort of like. I think that is the life of a co-parent because it's so all or nothing. So I had three weeks of having the kids and it was really full on really, you know, looking after them, making sure you've got enough, I don't know, yoghurt in and like really boring stuff and making sure you've done the washing. And then as soon as they've left I feel quite untethered. There's loads of stuff going on around here. So there's like the mouth of the Tyne Festival and just loads of people here and it's just a really fun time to be like out walking and.
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Katie: And I guess like, Oh isn't untethered the word for it. You know, like, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Sounds crazy. But also it's nice to be untethered. Nice to not have any particular place that you have to be, you know?
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Hannah: Yeah. Like it doesn't, because part of me is like, I really must tidy the house or I really need to make sure I've got to the bottom of the washing pile. And then I'm like, But actually this is my holiday. I've just had three weeks of intense child rearing and you know, it's the last few weeks of term and there's like 10,000 things going on. And then to be like, Oh, I don't have any of these commitments.
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Katie: Yeah.
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Hannah: Apart from being really busy at the shop and we've done lots of yoga and I've been down to the bookshop and supported them with some work. And various different groups of friends have all got together for birthday things and that's all awesome. Um, but then equally, I just don't want to sit in my house on my own, so I've just been out pounding the pavements.
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Katie: Great, though. That's a good position to be in, I think to be able to just kind of like go, okay, well I don't have anybody to report to and I don't have anything I've got to do right now. You know, I'm going to go for a walk.
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Hannah: Yeah, that's what I was saying about the whole sea thing. And a few weeks ago I was saying, like, if you've got an urge to do something, I think it's quite important you do it. Like if you've got the time to do it, go and do it because you don't know what the lesson is going to be. So that's my thing. I'm like, Well, if I want to walk, then I should probably go do that thing while I can.
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Katie: Yeah. And the world loves teaching you lessons at the minute, doesn't it?
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Hannah: God loves the lesson. So the lesson this week was I was walking along to go meet a friend who was like who I've known for years and years, and he was up because the surfs were in great this week. Um, so I was walking. Sorry. Go on.
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Katie: Is the friend a surfer?
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Hannah: Yeah, he's a surfer. So he'd come up in his car and was working from his car and then surfing when he had chance.
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Katie: Cool.
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Hannah: Yeah. So I went along to meet him and as I was walking there, I was listening to. Okay, there's this Beach Boys song. Which is like a B-side or something. It's not like one of their Surfin USA or anything like that, and it's called Surf's Up and it's really long and really melodic and like it goes all over the place and does all sorts of different, like crazy harmonies and it's super beautiful. So I made that into, you know, how you can do Spotify radio.
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Katie: Oh yeah.
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Hannah: So I made that the top one and then got it to just play me a whole bunch of songs.
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Katie: Oh, nice.
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Hannah: Um, and all the songs that it chose were like all the songs that I was listening to when I was 16, 17, 18, doing my A-levels. I did A-level music. Um, and yeah, they were like, so every week we would have to get up because we were doing A-level music and perform in front of hundreds of kids.
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Katie: Kids?
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Hannah: Like in Assembly. Sorry. Vital. Yeah, Vital detail missed there. We had to perform in assembly every week.
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Katie: Yes, that makes sense. In front of your peers.
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Hannah: Yeah. So we all. It was a rota and we had to take it in turn to perform in front of all these kids. And every now and again you would really fuck it up and it would be massively embarrassing.
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Katie: I bet.
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Hannah: Yeah. Um, and so there was, um, we had this singing competition and I can't even remember which stage of the year it was in, but, um, we all had to do it. It was like you were all going to have to do it because you're doing A-level music. And I chose to do Mama Cass Dream a little dream of me.
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Katie: How nice.
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Hannah: It's lovely. My friend played guitar and got up and performed. Thought it went quite well until something happened in the middle where either I passed out or my friend on the guitar did, and we just got misaligned and there was a moment of being like, I don't know what you're playing and what I'm meant to be singing.
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Katie: Oh, scary. Did everybody know, Do you think.
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Hannah: Uhhh There was no missing it?
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Katie: No. Oh, dear.
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Hannah: So I don't know how bad it really was. Like if I could look back and watch it, I'd be interested to.
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Katie: That's like an anxiety dream, you know? You could have dreamt that.
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Hannah: Well, it happened to me. In the flesh. And I was so mortified that I left as soon as I possibly could. And I didn't stay to hear the results or anything. And so later on, I got a message saying, Oh, you got second place, Where were you? But I was like, What a pile of shit that is.
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Katie: It can't have been as bad as you thought.
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Hannah: Well, I think second place. Or I thought second place meant, Oh, my God, that was so embarrassing. Here's your booby prize.
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Katie: Oh, that's sad.
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Hannah: Do you know what I mean? Like they've gone - Oh, well done for trying. That was so bad. But well done for trying. But now. Listening to it this week. So it came up on this Spotify playlist and I was like reliving in great detail this Mama Cass moment. Although I did pull off the whistle at the end.
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Katie: Oh, well done.
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Hannah: Thank you.
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Katie: That's impressive.
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Hannah: So fucked up in the middle. And then I was like, But I was still whistle at the end because that's what I practised.
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Katie: I'd like to hear a bit. Can you do any right now?
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Hannah: [WHISTLES]
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Katie: Not bad!!
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Hannah: I used to work with the milkman. I'm very good at whistling. It's part of the job description. Can you whistle? Yes. You can work for the milkman.
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Katie: Endless talents.
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Hannah: Oh I know. Where was I?
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Katie: I can't remember. Sorry. So you got the booby prize?
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Hannah: I got the booby prize? Yes. So I was walking along on Wednesday and I was, like, listening to this song and rethinking about that whole process of, like, what it actually means to stand up and be seen to fail.
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Katie: Yeah.
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Hannah: And. Why I took it so badly that I had to leave instead of being like, Yeah, I messed it up. It doesn't really matter. At least I tried.
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Katie: And it can't have been that bad if you still got second place?
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Hannah: Mhm. I don't think it was. I think I was a good singer at the time and I probably did a good job, but I still think he was like, I got it because I messed up rather than because I was good but equally so fucking what.
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Katie: Mhm. I know. Well it doesn't matter.
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Hannah: So that was like my epiphany this week was. I think it's important for us just to keep trying stuff and to keep messing up and to allow the people that we love in our lives to see us fail.
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Katie: Yeah, definitely. Because it happens to everybody.
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Hannah: Yeah, it really does. And someone can go, Yeah, that happened to me and tell you their story and you can kind of bond over the fact that we're messing up all the time, but at least we're trying.
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Katie: Yeah. Yeah, that's true. I know. I feel like it's, um. The most valuable connections that you get with people are over some sort of shared horror. You know, like, it can. It can really bond you to a person. You're right. Mhm.
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Hannah: Yeah. It's like, I mean, interestingly, when I arrived and I saw my friend, I was like, I told him about this, but then we were also talking about the idea of secrets.
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Katie: Oh interesting.
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Hannah: And how it's all right to also have secrets.
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Katie: Yes. As opposed to like so hiring your, your failure and your shame.
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Hannah: So yeah, it's like such an interesting balance between like, what's a secret? And it's because he was saying that he had a friend who had come out on Instagram as being into kink or something.
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Katie: Right. Okay.
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Hannah: I'm finally out. I like kinky stuff and it's like, that's the least that's like unattractive now. That's not kinky anymore because you've come out and said you're kinky.
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Katie: Yeah, weird. Also, like on his on his personal Instagram?
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Hannah: Yeah. Yeah. So, like, it's a funny one. Like, how much do you want to be like, These are the failures of my life and how much do you want to be like. I'm going to keep that part of me back and a secret.
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Katie: I think the more you share, the better. Really.
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Hannah: Well, that's how I feel. But then there are certain things that I'm not going to discuss with you on the podcast.
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Katie: Oh, true. Yeah.
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Hannah: Not many. Let's be fair. But like. Yeah. And I'm not going to list them now. I'm not going to tell you about this. I'm not.
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Katie: Well, and I think there's a massive difference between like, telling a friend in a bonding moment and sharing it publicly online.
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Hannah: That is true.
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Katie: Coming out with your kinks on Instagram. Weird. Talking to somebody about your kinks. Not so weird.
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Hannah: That must be the definition. Yeah, it's like, what is. like Obviously we're doing this quite publicly and talking about how we feel and I love the idea that somebody like people that have messaged me this week being like, Thank you for talking about that, because I'm feeling that way too. But it's where does it cross over to? That just should be a 1 to 1 sharing of your failure.
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Katie: I think, you know, though, I think like you obviously know what you would and wouldn't talk about publicly, I do as well. Like it's just what you're comfortable with. And I think I'm very much an oversharer, like some things I think people would be like, Oh my God, why are you talking about that publicly on the Internet? But like, I don't mind. So it's to do with your own boundaries.
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Hannah: It's to do with what you mind? Yeah. I think Brené Brown talks about this actually in one of her books. I can't remember one of the million things that I've listened to by Brené Brown. She talks about because obviously she shares her stories of shame and her stories of things. But she says she only shares them once she's processed it.
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Katie: Yeah, that's true. Because if it could be triggering or lead to like, your own sort of struggle. Yeah. Then it's not worth it, is it? You know.
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Hannah: Like the share hangover. Do you remember when we first started doing this? We were like, Oh my God, I've got such a sharing hangover, a vulnerability hangover. I think that's what she calls it.
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Katie: Yeah. Yeah.
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Hannah: And it's but part of that wasn't because we said anything bad. It was because we were getting used to speaking publicly.
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Katie: That's true. Yeah, that's true. And yeah, I think like, you go into like, you kind of almost don't really know what you're talking about. Like obviously we have specific things that we're going to talk about when we record a podcast, but you can't remember afterwards, can you? So it's like, what have I actually spoken about?
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Hannah: What did I say?
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Katie: But I think but I've never like spoken about something that I really didn't mean to, you know, like, I think when you've got those boundaries there, like within you, you know, like you know what, you're going to talk about and what you're not. And if you're sharing something in private with somebody that you know is something that you wouldn't normally share, you would make it clear to them, Yeah, Yeah. I think it's yeah, I think it's okay to have things like a set, I guess. So you've got stuff that you talk about publicly on the Internet, stuff that you would only talk about with friends and stuff you're never going to share with anybody. And I think that's okay.
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Hannah: Yeah. Okay, cool, cool, cool. So the next thing. Okay, so we've put here to talk about self compassion, yoga stuff that I've been working on, and I think that's why. So, yeah, I've got a yoga teacher called Jambo and we he's been on the show and each week or each fortnight we meet and work on different things and a lot of the stuff at the moment is around. Filling. It's like it's filling your heart with the love you feel for others and I guess trying to channel that to yourself. So that - to help you kind of. Just I guess it's just really helping you accept who you are. And. And what. And even things like what you look like.
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Katie: Mhm.
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Hannah: So we've done this exercise involving a mirror where you kind of look at yourself and every time you start feeling critical you go back to your heart and you go back to the people that you truly love, the people that you really would breathe for. Channel that feeling and then look again.
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Katie: How interesting.
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Hannah: And it's after we did that that I then had the moment the next day with the whole Mama Cass thing and being like I could look at that incident with fresh eyes. But it just seemed so weird that Spotify would bring me that memory via the means of song.
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Katie: Because that's when you actually needed some self-compassion.
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Hannah: Yeah. And to look back on it and be like, oh I'm quite proud that I would even get up. And I continued to, you know, do things like open mic nights and stuff like afterwards, even though I'd had that kind of experience.
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Katie: Mhm. It shouldn't put you off that.
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Hannah: So I think you know at yoga we'll probably be doing a lot more. Compassion based things for this month because it feels like a really good thing to be doing.
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Katie: It seems it's like super important. There aren't many people out there that have high self esteem.
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Hannah: What do you mean low self esteem?
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Katie: No, I mean. I mean everybody's got low self esteem.
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Hannah: Okay.
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Katie: You know, like everybody needs to work on that a little bit.
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Hannah: I think so. And just being a bit less critical. Yeah.
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Katie: And it works as well.
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Hannah: It does. I think once you can start to feel that feeling because a lot of the stuff we do with Jambo is all about breathing into your heart. Like there's so much to do with. And when you think of an area when you're breathing, the oxygen goes there. It's like, I don't know. I'm still trying to make sense of all of like, the spiritual side of what I do and making it make sense in my head for what I believe in. But that does make sense to me that if you were going to breathe somewhere as important as your heart. Like good things are going to come from it.
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Katie: The mind and the body are incredible things.
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Hannah: I think they are. May I tell you a new story?
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Katie: Oh, please do.
00:17:27 - 00:17:29
Hannah: About using my mind and my body.
00:17:29 - 00:17:29
Katie: Yes.
00:17:30 - 00:17:36
Hannah: Um, where are we going with this? So I am single.
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Katie: Oh, really?
00:17:38 - 00:18:20
Hannah: I am. And. I am really struggling with the overwhelming aspect of the dating app. Talked about this before. It becomes a bit like. You go on and there's a flurry of activity and it's quite hard to be like discerning or even working out who you like and you can get a bit caught up in. Yeah, just trying not to be rude and keeping in touch with certain people and trying to work out if you like them or not and all that kind of stuff. So I'd come off dating apps entirely and I was like. I just want to meet somebody the old fashioned way.
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Katie: Yeah. Fair enough.
00:18:25 - 00:18:51
Hannah: Yeah. So we talked quite a few times about Claire Venus, who we were talking about again later, and her the work she did with Jambo, because she also knows him around relationship ethics. So I've been really trying to think about what it is I actually am looking for and what I want. And I've distilled it or I thought I had anyway distilled it down to Bandit Heeler.
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Katie: Right.
00:18:52 - 00:18:55
Hannah: Who is Bluey's dad in..
00:18:56 - 00:18:56
Katie: In Bluey
00:18:56 - 00:19:05
Hannah: In Bluey, my favourite TV show of all time. The single version, obviously. And Nick Cave.
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Katie: Yes.
00:19:06 - 00:19:08
Hannah: Slash Paul McCartney.
00:19:08 - 00:19:10
Katie: Slash Paul McCartney. Right. Okay.
00:19:10 - 00:19:16
Hannah: And the reason I chose those two is because they are famously massively in love with their wives.
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Katie: Yeah.
00:19:18 - 00:19:30
Hannah: And a bit. Like, you know, they're very talented. They're musicians, they're a bit deep thinkers, very interesting. Like, you know, I love Nick Cave's. Yeah. Newsletter and go on aboutt it all the time.
00:19:30 - 00:19:31
Katie: Yeah. It is fantastic.
00:19:31 - 00:20:16
Hannah: But yeah, there's something about them. But I also really like the fun side of Bluey's dad and the fact that he stepped up and he plays with his kids and he's is also quite devoted. Devoted to the whole idea of family. So I was like, This is what I'm looking for. And that's kind of what I was embodying on Friday. So after yoga, I always go for a walk to try and like clear my head afterwards and do something for myself. And so I walked down like a really long way down the coast channelling this sort of energy. And there's a big festival going on at the moment. So I went there and met some friends and then as I was coming out of the bay, a guy was like. Your gorgeous.
00:20:18 - 00:20:19
Katie: Smooth.
00:20:21 - 00:20:29
Hannah: Because the other thing about the thing that I wanted was I wanted them to come to me because I want this version of a person to come to me.
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Katie: Yeah.
00:20:30 - 00:20:41
Hannah: And to be totally devoted and into me. And this guy appears and I went to loo and he was kind of like, still hovering around afterwards. Yeah.
00:20:45 - 00:20:46
Katie: Right.
00:20:47 - 00:20:54
Hannah: In King Edward's Bay, which is really low down and you've got 10,000 steps to walk up to get out. And he went, Can I walk up the steps with you?
00:20:54 - 00:20:55
Katie: Okay.
00:20:55 - 00:20:56
Hannah: This is 10:00 at night.
00:20:57 - 00:20:58
Katie: Okay.
00:20:58 - 00:20:59
Hannah: But he's sober.
00:20:59 - 00:21:00
Katie: Right.
00:21:00 - 00:21:27
Hannah: So I'm sober, too. So this is interesting. So I was like, okay, like, he's got an accent. He's South African. So I'm like, maybe this is normal for South African people, but weird for British people because that's not what we do. So walked up the stairs and then he was like, I really like you. Can I have your number when we get to the top? I was like, Oh my God, is this bandit slash Nick cave?
00:21:27 - 00:21:31
Katie: Did he look like a cartoon dog or a rock star at all?
00:21:31 - 00:21:31
Hannah: No...
00:21:31 - 00:21:33
Katie: Is bluey a cartoon dog?
00:21:33 - 00:21:33
Hannah: Yes.
00:21:33 - 00:21:34
Katie: Yeah. Okay.
00:21:36 - 00:21:44
Hannah: No. Okay, So physically, he wasn't what I would necessarily go for. Maybe I wasn't being specific enough.
00:21:44 - 00:21:46
Katie: To the universe. Yeah.
00:21:46 - 00:21:53
Hannah: Um, but yeah, so I gave him my number, and then we. Yeah. We met yesterday for a coffee.
00:21:53 - 00:21:56
Katie: Interesting. And it's..
00:21:56 - 00:21:57
Hannah: No
00:21:57 - 00:21:57
Katie: No good.
00:21:58 - 00:22:01
Hannah: Sadly, not what I want. But, you know, when you're like, is this it?
00:22:02 - 00:22:06
Katie: Yeah. Yeah. But I think I'd be really wary of that.
00:22:06 - 00:22:08
Hannah: But how are you meant to meet people?
00:22:08 - 00:22:09
Katie: How are you meant to know?
00:22:09 - 00:22:13
Hannah: Like, it's where. Like why are you not wary about meeting weirdos off the internet?
00:22:14 - 00:22:24
Katie: What do you mean I am? Oh, you mean if you've met them on a dating app? Yes, I understand now. Because. Okay, so I thought you just meant like in general.
00:22:24 - 00:22:25
Hannah: I am wary of this.
00:22:25 - 00:23:15
Katie: Yeah. Um, no, I actually am wary of that now that I come to think of it. Um, but also, like, it's become the more accepted way of doing these things. And I don't necessarily think that that means that it's the right way to do that. But then I also think like somebody with the balls to like come up to you and say, You're gorgeous, can I get your number? It makes me think like, um, you know, maybe they do that all the time. Like they think that they're too like that they're, you know, God's gift. You know, there's a lot of men like that, isn't there? Um, I don't know. It would. It would raise alarm bells for me, but perhaps that's not like you're right. There could have been a cultural difference there. Maybe it might have been the one for you.
00:23:15 - 00:23:16
Hannah: And I do like that kind of confidence. I do like that.
00:23:16 - 00:23:18
Katie: Yeah, Yeah, I know.
00:23:19 - 00:23:36
Hannah: I like somebody who is going to be like, Oh, you look good. I really want to be near you. Like, I want that kind of assurance. But there's got to be a balance. Like, that was probably too much. So I'm guessing that was another lesson from the universe.
00:23:36 - 00:23:37
Katie: Good old universe.
00:23:38 - 00:23:47
Hannah: Um, but there is like, the more I'm walking around, the more I'm kind of meeting people and interacting in new ways and yeah.
00:23:47 - 00:23:48
Katie: Yeah.
00:23:48 - 00:24:05
Hannah: So maybe it's not him, but it's. Do you know what was else was weird about the meeting with him? We went to two different pubs and in both of them, that song, I don't even know who it's by, but it goes. Here comes your man. Doo doo doo. That played in both of the places.
00:24:05 - 00:24:06
Katie: It's the Pixies.
00:24:06 - 00:24:07
Hannah: The Pixies.
00:24:08 - 00:24:13
Katie: Um. That's weird. Yeah, but he wasn't the man.
00:24:13 - 00:24:14
Hannah: He wasn't the man.
00:24:14 - 00:24:16
Katie: But maybe he's coming.
00:24:16 - 00:24:17
Hannah: Yeah.
00:24:17 - 00:24:23
Katie: Maybe Frank Black's your man. I'm a big Pixies fan, you see, And Frank Black's the lead singer, and he's.
00:24:23 - 00:24:24
Hannah: Is he knocking around? Is he single?
00:24:25 - 00:24:26
Katie: Maybe. You know.
00:24:26 - 00:24:27
Hannah: Is he not a hundred?
00:24:27 - 00:24:28
Katie: He is a hundred. Yeah.
00:24:28 - 00:24:30
Hannah: I don't want a 100 year old.
00:24:30 - 00:24:41
Katie: Yeah, okay. Nevermind then not him. Yeah, but another one? Yeah. Maybe. I think you gotta take it easy.
00:24:42 - 00:24:43
Hannah: I do. I think I need to slow down.
00:24:44 - 00:24:54
Katie: It's just like they say that these things, like, I know this is really frustrating, and it's not the kind of thing that I would be able to sit back and do either. But they say that these things come at you when you stop looking, you know?
00:24:57 - 00:25:00
Hannah: See, that's the thing as well. Like, I'm trying not to look.
00:25:01 - 00:25:08
Katie: Yeah. Which is why you've come off the dating apps. Oh, no, no. Maybe not for long.
00:25:09 - 00:25:29
Hannah: Okay, so I was on Match.com. Yeah, but I never set it up. Like. I mean, I'd set it up, but then discovered that you have to pay in order to do anything on it. So lots of people were, like, liking me? But I couldn't see them. So I may have had a little look on there.
00:25:29 - 00:25:42
Katie: I mean, I think it really doesn't hurt to try them all. It's just like the only thing that you've got to be mindful of is that I think it can have a really bad effect on your mental health if you spend too much time on these things, you know? Yeah. Um.
00:25:43 - 00:25:55
Hannah: But it's only for now anyway because, you know, on come Tuesday I'm going to have my kids back anyway and we'll be very busy. Reuben's already on holiday and you know, we've got plans with friends, so it's not like I can see anybody anyway.
00:25:55 - 00:25:55
Katie: No. True.
00:25:55 - 00:26:16
Hannah: So having a little dabble, having a little look would be fine with that. Yeah. And I've had so much fun with like my friends this weekend as well. Yeah. And meeting new friends and going in the sea with new friends and doing yoga with them and yeah, there's loads going on. Like, I'm not bothered. I'm not feeling lonely.
00:26:16 - 00:26:16
Katie: Yeah. Good.
00:26:17 - 00:26:25
Hannah: Which is nice. Like I'm not doing it from I need you to be near me, make me feel better. It's just a would be quite nice to meet the one.
00:26:26 - 00:26:51
Katie: I know what you mean. I'm a sucker for them as well. I've been doing a lot of thinking at the minute about like, love and the fact that we prioritise love and the fact that we prioritise, like, love your partner and your children and things above everything else, you know? Whereas I think there can be just as meaningful love between like you and your friends, you and your hobbies. You and your pets.
00:26:51 - 00:26:57
Hannah: Oh Yeah. So over the course of the time that my kids haven't been here, probably 10% of the time has been thinking about love.
00:26:57 - 00:26:58
Katie: Yeah.
00:26:59 - 00:27:07
Hannah: And then the rest of the time I've been. Spending time with the sea. I saw a freaking whale.
00:27:07 - 00:27:08
Katie: That's amazing.
00:27:08 - 00:27:38
Hannah: So I went and sat on. I've got this little rocky area that I sit and meditate sometimes. And so I went and sat there. The second I sat down, two dolphins went past at close range. And then when I stood up to leave, it's really high up. It's quite scary. Yeah, you're like, right on the edge. And you can like, it's quite far down. And I saw a whale come past and I was like, Did I imagine that? And then I looked again and it came up again just really slowly.
00:27:38 - 00:27:41
Katie: That's bucket list stuff there. Yeah.
00:27:41 - 00:27:52
Hannah: So, you know, I'm spending lots of time walking and being with the sea and being with friends. So I would definitely say it's not consuming me.
00:27:52 - 00:28:01
Katie: No. Good. Yeah. Because I think you can get just as much gratification from your love of nature and your love of your friends. Then you can love of anyone else, you know.
00:28:03 - 00:28:06
Hannah: And if you get the odd meet cute with random strangers.
00:28:07 - 00:28:07
Katie: Yep. Why not.
00:28:08 - 00:28:21
Hannah: Embrace it? See what happens. It's good for your podcast. If you have one. We always say that, don't we? I'm like, Shall I go on a date with this weirdo that's come up to me? And we're like, Well, it'll be good for a podcast.
00:28:21 - 00:28:35
Katie: I like, always want to say no. I'm like, No, no, you shouldn't do that. No, But then before I've had a chance to do that, we come out with Be good for the podcast though, and it normally is. Experience.
00:28:35 - 00:28:46
Hannah: It's interesting to see what comes up and what. Like something that seems like an opportunity might not be the opportunity or the lesson that you wanted at the time.
00:28:48 - 00:28:48
Katie: Yeah.
00:28:49 - 00:28:59
Hannah: Well, that's, that's the sum total of where I'm at this week. But I did want to tell you something cool, Katie, about our sponsors.
00:28:59 - 00:29:00
Katie: Oh, how exciting.
00:29:00 - 00:29:12
Hannah: So for the next three episodes, we have got, um, sponsorship from a brand new podcast, and it's with the lovely Claire Venus.
00:29:12 - 00:29:13
Katie: Love Claire Venus.
00:29:13 - 00:29:58
Hannah: Who, like my other love of the last eight weeks along with the sea, has been just connecting with Claire because she's just so wonderful. And so she got in touch to say, Could she sponsor us? Because obviously she's establishing her new podcast, which is called Company of Two, and she is doing it with her friend Laura Oldfield. And what is so lovely about it. So there's been three episodes so far and obviously I've listened to them, but they the whole premise of the podcast is around business owners. So you start life out as a company of one if you run your own business. And then what happens when motherhood happens?
00:29:58 - 00:29:59
Katie: Yeah.
00:30:00 - 00:30:01
Hannah: It's fucking brilliant.
00:30:01 - 00:30:02
Katie: Yeah, that sounds great.
00:30:02 - 00:31:30
Hannah: It's like living vicariously through them because I feel like I got to this once I had kids, but the whole like, both of them were doing like incredible jobs, you know, for themselves before they had kids. And then we all do this. You have a kid and you're like, It'll just be the same as it was before. And then all of a sudden you have a baby, but you still have a business to run. So the last step. Well, sorry, the middle, there's like an introductory episode that kind of introduces them and their story. And then the second one, they're talking about that moment that they become mothers. And it kind of dawns on you that something has to change. Yeah. And then trying to shoehorn this, like, balance of this total love for this incredible career that they've both created. So Laura is a singer and she's a teacher and like a proper professional, onstage opera type singer. And Claire's been doing incredible, like creative work for a very long time, including massive festivals and like running all these different things that require funding and just loads of time. And then all of a sudden it's like. Oh, it's just this realisation that babies a baby has come and your life just can't be the same again. And how do you balance that with your drive and your ambition?
00:31:30 - 00:32:13
Hannah: Because the other thing that happens when you have a baby is you suddenly become crazy creative. Like both children that I had. I did really weird things as soon as I had a baby that was like unsustainably crazy involving business and stuff like that. And you're like, this, This can't carry on. I'm something's going to die. And it will probably be me. Yeah. Um, so, yeah, just that realisation that you, you love what you do, but then you also have this new thing that you like. You just can't get your head around how much that is going to change your life. Yeah. So they're covering all of these different things and how they're managing balance and. Just being super honest.
00:32:14 - 00:32:16
Katie: Oh, that sounds great. I can't wait to listen to that.
00:32:16 - 00:32:18
Hannah: Yeah, So you should have everybody go and have a listen.
00:32:19 - 00:32:20
Katie: And where can I find it?
00:32:20 - 00:32:24
Hannah: So it's companyoftwo.substack.com.
00:32:24 - 00:32:25
Katie: Lovely.
00:32:25 - 00:32:30
Hannah: And the other thing about it is they've got within substack. I really need to get one.
00:32:30 - 00:32:31
Katie: Yeah you probably do.
00:32:31 - 00:32:42
Hannah: I'm so behind with this, but within substack once you join the group, there's like different threads. You can join in conversations and they're looking for people to get involved as well.
00:32:42 - 00:32:46
Katie: It's a great platform. Can't wait to listen to their podcast. Sounds good.
00:32:46 - 00:32:49
Hannah: Yeah. Head there.
00:32:49 - 00:32:51
Hannah: All right. Well, thank you so much, Katie.
00:32:51 - 00:32:51
Katie: Thank you
00:32:51 - 00:32:58
Hannah: As ever for deep diving into my love life and deciding I'm crazy. Yeah.
00:32:58 - 00:33:01
Katie: Can't wait to see who comes up next ey.
00:33:01 - 00:33:05
Hannah: Oh, my God. It'll be great. It'll be fine. I'll be in love by next week.
00:33:05 - 00:33:06
Katie: She will.
00:33:07 - 00:33:08
Hannah: Bye, everyone.
00:33:09 - 00:33:49
Hannah: All right, then. Thank you so much for listening. And I'll see you again next time for another episode of Happily Ever After with me, Hannah. It would be amazing if you could leave a review and subscribe. And of course, if you've got a friend who might enjoy this episode, please do pass it on for anything else. You can get in touch with me through Instagram @Mumsdays or by my website - Mumsdays.com. And did you know that I've got a newsletter? So it's the best way to stay in touch and to make sure you don't miss any podcasts or any freebies or competitions that we're running. And again, you can sign up to that through the website.
